Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Who am I anyway?

Am I my resume? That is a picture of a person I don't know.

So as most of you know, those are lyrics from the opening of A CHORUS LINE. I often think of them on audition days (appropriate I guess), but today, I was especially mindful of them as I came back with a marathon day of auditions. I got appointments for all three EPA's that I wanted to go to (one for a new musical, one for the Broadway revival of FINIAN'S RAINBOW and one for the season at Gateway Playhouse). The first two...not so hot. I couldn't help but think that some of the criticism that I have received from industry folks lately had infiltrated my subconscious and caused me to choose material and present myself in a way that I normally wouldn't. Now that would be fine if I felt good about it, but I didn't. To be honest, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. I was watching myself as I sang my songs - and I saw myself with a strange focus, not moving at all - sort of like an animated corpse. Me? A corpse?

So, I was kinda disappointed with myself and thinking about the lyrics above and then, by some fate, I ran into a friend of mine, who asked me to listen to her audition as she was trying out a new song. When she came out, she asked me what I thought. "I love it!" I said. "And I've never heard it but it has great range and is really quirky!" She got a big smile on her face and said, "You know...I've decided that it's time I embrace my quirk!"

"Embrace my quirk!" "Embrace my quirk!"

I told her immediately that I LOVE IT and that I was stealing it as my new mantra! I realized in that moment that I DO know who that person is in my picture! I DO represent those rolls that I have played and what ties them together is ME and my "quirk!"

So I changed my song choice for the last audition, had a BLAST and sang my face off! It was character, it was vaudeville, it was fun, it was me embracing my quirk. I loved it, and they seemed to love it too!

Clearly, I'm gonna do all I can, as I move forward in this nutty profession to do what I feel most comfortable doing. If they love it...great! If they don't...oh well. I can't keep trying to please all of the people all of the time, or I will lose myself and end up pleasing NO ONE!

"Embrace your quirk!"

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